Have a Sweet Weekend. | Cup of Jo

What are you up to this weekend? We’re hitting up some birthday parties, and I’m also reading Absolution and loving it. The writing’s so vivid and sharp, reading it almost feels like watching TV. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…

The #1 gift on my wishlist is this discovery set.

Manifesto for posting online, or, really, doing anything in life. “If ever in doubt on the right course of action, simply ask yourself: what is the generous thing to do here? Then do that, and enjoy the warm glow that comes from working in alignment with your higher values.”

Dating after divorce, made me laugh.

The 10 best appetizers at Trader Joe’s. “If you need me, I’ll be by the coconut shrimp, making small talk about coconut shrimp.”

Pandora Sykes’s house is my dream house!

LOVE the shape of these shoes.

Do you say “tennis shoes,” “gym shoes,” or “sneakers”? (Growing up in Michigan, we said tennis shoes, although we never played tennis.)

Parenting tip: anything plus broccoli.

Why does this bride look so mad? (NYTimes gift link)

Now THAT’S a cheesecake.

If you could change one thing about your body. (Wait until the kids come on.)

Hahaha.

Also, we published our Big Salad gift guide, if you’d like to see. (It’s free for everyone to read.)

Plus, three reader comments:

Says Emily on what holiday coupons would your kids love: “My two-year-old would love a day of ‘pick out mom’s clothes’! He was melting down this morning over having to get dressed and being able to pick out mom’s shirt instantly calmed him down.” Replies Katie: “I second this! When my daughter was a toddler, she loved coming into my closet when I was getting dressed, so one day I told her she could dress me from head to toe and we’d go to our local café for a treat. We called it ‘Fancy Friday,’ and it became one of our favorite things. It’s not every January in Michigan you get to wear a fascinator and faux fur wrist warmers to coffee.”

Says Claire on nine reader comments on kindness: “When I was 32 weeks pregnant, I learned that my husband’s cancer meant that he wouldn’t live to meet our son. My OB ordered an extra ultrasound so that the tech could get some photos of the baby’s face for my husband before he passed. When I got to the clinic, someone must have tipped them off, because everyone was so kind to me. The receptionist told me that he’d rearranged their schedule so that one of their best techs could do my ultrasound. The tech spent far longer with me than necessary, taking photos of as many angles of our baby as she could. When I returned to the waiting room, the staff gave me flowers, a balloon, and – the real tearjerker – a Father’s Day card for my husband. Looking back at those photos is one of the few bright memories I have with my husband in the last few weeks of his life. I’ll never forget all the kindnesses.”

Says Kirby on nine reader comments on kindness: “My story is a little different, it’s about giving kindness. This year I made a career change from executive management into being a librarian in a small public library. I was pretty broken at the time, and this job has saved me. On the first morning, my boss said, ‘There’s just one rule here, be kind.’ Every single day, I am paid a modest wage to smile, put stickers on children’s hands, read or sing to them, and introduce them to the wonder of literacy. I chat with the older folks — I know their children, which parts of their bodies hurt, and whether or not the local pool is closed. I help reset passwords and print documents and put away books. Yesterday an older man stormed into the library. The world had failed him and he was at the end of his tether. Nothing on the computer would work for him. I was able to say, ‘Come with me, we can work this out together.’ By the end of the hour, he was laughing, promising that, if he ever sees me with my kid, he’ll tell him that I’m actually a tech genius! To me, the act of being kind anchors me to the world; it makes me feel stronger and better. Kindness works its magic both ways.”

(Photo by Melanie DeFazio/Stocksy.)