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The best sex positions for women, according to experts, don’t require acrobatics, and they may not be the ones men love either. In fact, positions that feel pleasurable to one partner may not be all that impressive—or may even be uncomfortable—to the other.
“Typically there’s a discrepancy because of anatomy,” says Dr. Viviana Coles, licensed therapist and intimacy expert. For most women to orgasm, there’s one body part they want stimulated most: The best sex positions for women prioritize the clitoris.
“Part of female pleasure depends on consistent clitoral stimulation, so men should be thinking about that no matter what position they’re in,” explains sex therapist Dr. Ian Kerner. “We often hear about the pleasure gap—you know, men having orgasms and women not—and that’s fundamentally due to a lack of clitoral stimulation. So taking a ‘cliterate’ approach to intercourse is important for both partners.”
Don’t overthink it: Certain positions naturally allow for increased stimulation via skin-to-skin contact. Even without this contact, there are toys to ensure the clit is never neglected. And once you’ve added them to your own version of Kama Sutra, clitoral stimulation will become second nature.
Meet the Experts
- Dr. Viviana Coles, licensed therapist, intimacy expert, and author of The 4 Intimacy Styles: The Key to Lasting Physical Intimacy
- Deborah Caust, clinical sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist.
- Caitlin V. Neal, sex and relationship coach and host of Good Sex on Discovery+
- Holly Richmond, Ph.D., certified sex therapist
- Dr. Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of She Comes First
- Jess O’Reilly, PhD, Toronto-based sexologist, author, and television personality
- Amber Shine, ACS, CSE, ACS certified sex therapist and dating coach
- Mike Johnson, sex educator and co-host of YMMV, a sex podcast that delves into the Kivin Method, which helps vulva-owners climax faster and more intensely
- Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of sex shop Early to Bed
- Dr. Shannon Chavez, licensed psychologist and sex therapist in Beverly Hills.
20 Best Sex Positions for Women
How to Do It
The receiver lies on their back with hips at edge of the bed. The penetrative partner enters from under their legs, which can rest up against the giver’s torso or chest, both of which allow the receiver to control what angle feels best.
Why It Works
Edge of the Bed is a common favorite for both parties, as it encourages deep penetration. This position can be a bit painful for vulva-owners if their partner is well-endowed. When a penis is substantially larger than average, it can knock against the cervix during penetration.
Pro Tip
This is a great time to get a vibrating toy involved, like a cock ring, to get more clitoral stimulation.
How to Do It
The giver sits cross-legged while the receiver sits on their lap, facing them, with legs wrapped around.
Why It Works
Being on top is one of the most liberating and empowering sex positions for vulva-owners. It gives them full control of how slowly and how far they lower onto a penis or strap-on, the rhythm they set, where they rest their legs and hands, and the angle of their torso.
“This gives lots of close body contact, the opportunity for kissing, and the ability to grind against body parts while engaging in intercourse,” says Deysach. The combination of deep emotional connection and external clitoral stimulation can help vulva-owners achieve climax.
Pro Tip
“The more the receiver is inclined, the more they’re able to get broader stimulation,” explains Coles. This gives greater access to the penetrative partner for kissing, gentle biting, dirty talk, and more.
How to Do It
The receiver lies on their back and the penetrative partner enters on top. Unlike missionary, the penetrative partner shifts their body up a couple inches so the base of the penis or strap-on rubs against the clitoris. There are a couple modifications here: The vulva-owner can keep their legs together, while the giver’s are apart. Or, they can wrap their ankles around the giver’s calves and flex their legs to draw in closer. Instead of thrusting in and out—the giver will only be able to penetrate about an inch or so inside the vagina—think about rocking in a circular motion akin to dry humping. Note: You can also modify missionary by placing a pillow underneath the vulva-owner’s butt.
Why It Works
The Coital Alignment Technique or CAT is a modification of missionary position that positions the penis downward instead of upward in the vagina to better stimulate the clitoris.
“A lot of my clients really love the coital alignment technique, or CAT—the main function being to create a bit of elevation right under the hips and butt,” explains Dr. Shannon Chavez, licensed psychologist and sex therapist in Beverly Hills, CA.
By placing a pillow or a wedge under the vulva-owner’s glutes, their pelvis is tilted up, so the base of the giver’s penis and mons pubis, the fatty tissue over the pubic bone, “will rub the clitoris, external vulva, and all of the tissue in the surrounding area, which will help increase orgasm potential. The mons pubis on all genders has a lot of nerve endings there, and grinding and rubbing in that position stimulates them all.”
Pro Tip
While this does offer deeper penetration, says Chavez, the CAT technique is really about creating more friction. “So don’t focus as much on thrusting and penetration, as much as on grinding, rubbing, and using your hips.”
How to Do It
The vagina-owner lies on their stomach, then the penetrative partner lies on top and enters (or slides in) from behind.
Why It Works
“The weight of the bodies creates intense pressure against the external clitoris,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, Toronto-based sexologist.
Pro Tip
The receiver can squeeze their legs together to create a tighter sensation and cup their hand around their vulva to create space to grind against a vibrator for clitoral stimulation. O’Reilly recommends We-Vibe TouchX.
How to Do It
The penis-owner lies on their back and brings knees to chest or table-top position. The vulva-owner squats down and lowers onto the penis or strap-on. The person on bottom can hold onto their partner’s thighs, while the partner on top uses their knees to bob up and down. Variations of this position include reversing the top partner’s position so they face away.
Why It Works
Right away, know that this position requires some added effort and flexibility—so stretching first is advisable—but it pays off for the vulva-owner by offering lots of control.
How to Do It
The vulva-owner lies on their back in a spread-eagle position with legs open wide as the giver works their body over from head to toe. “Touch with lips, tongue, breath, fingertips, and vibrating accouterments, taking time to cover every square inch before diving down between their legs.”
Why It Works
This position allows vulva-owners to butterfly their legs open in a very relaxed way, Chavez explains, and makes it easier to move their hips and glutes, thrusting or moving up as their partner stimulates them with their mouth.
Pro Tip
If the vulva-owner is a bit uncomfortable with how exposed they are, “blindfold them first to heighten sensation and reduce distraction, or turn the music up for sensory overload,” suggests O’Reilly. This is a great way to lower inhibitions and let the vulva-owner fully hone in on the sensation of oral sex and other sexual activities beyond penile penetration.
If you want to improve your oral sex skills, slow down. “It’s about sensually creating a massage with your mouth,” Chavez says. You’re not sticking your tongue out or being overly forceful. You might lick with your tongue flat, caress the clitoris with the tip of your tongue, suck, and move in circular motions. The tell-tale sign you’ll know it’s working: “The clitoris should get erect like a penis,” she explains. Of course it’s more subtle, but “if it’s not getting engorged and aroused, you may not be stimulating it the right way.” You should also be able to feel your partner’s climax building. Pay attention to moans and listen if they explicitly say any iteration of “Right there. That’s the spot.” Now’s not the time for variety. Stick with what you’re doing in exactly the same pattern until they reach orgasm.
How to Do It
The penetrative partner lies on their right side, leaning on right arm, with legs positioned like an open clamshell: Right leg bent against the bed and left leg bent at the knee with foot planted in front of the other ankle. The vulva-owner lies perpendicular to their partner and threads the needle, so to speak, by placing right leg through the giver’s legs and aligning their pelvises. Their other leg can rest against the penis-owner’s chest and shoulder to be used as leverage upon penetration to get closer and aid in thrusting or gyrating.
Why It Works
While there’s a bit of a learning curve to get into the position, once you’re in it, it’s smooth sailing. The ease of this position inspires its pleasant name, and it’s another great choice for full access to the clitoris. This position is a variation on an “X” position, like scissors.
Pro Tip
The vulva-owner can reach a free hand down for further clitorial stimulation.
How to Do It
The vulva-owner lies on their back and bends both knees while the penetrative partner kneels in front and enters, resting the front of their shoulders against the receiving partner’s shins. For a variation of this position, receiving partner can cross their legs against the giver’s chest, allowing them to come even closer.
Why It Works
This take on missionary allows for deep penetration and a playful tease between partners, Neal says.
Pro Tip
The penetrative partner should take advantage of leaning against their partner’s lower legs. This closeness encourages direct eye contact and dirty talk, while decreasing pressure on wrists and extending stamina, Neal adds.
How to Do It
The vulva-owner lies on their back and the penetrative partner kneels before them. The receiver places one leg against the torso of the giver and the other leg, bent at the knee, alongside the giver’s thigh. The giver can use their penis or a strap-on to thrust in and out or in a circular motion, holding the bottom partner’s ankle and knee for support.
Why It Works
This is for couples looking for something outside the norm. It allows for both deep insertion and total clitoral stimulation, so it’s a win-win.
Pro Tip
Add some cushioning under the vulva-owner’s butt, like a pillow or folded blanket, to get the angle just right.
How to Do It
The vulva-owner stands with feet shoulder-width apart and bends forward at the waist, resting their hands on a table, chair, or other surface for support. The penetrative partner stands behind them and enters from behind, holding onto the receiver’s hips or waist for leverage.
Why It Works
“This position is great for deep penetration, as the angle of entry allows for the penis to reach the G-spot,” explains Amber Shine, ACS, CSE, ACS, certified sex therapist and dating coach. The vulva-owner can adjust the angle of their hips to increase or decrease the level of stimulation on their clitoris, too. “Some couples find this position very intimate, as the receiver can turn their head to look back at their partner and maintain eye contact during intercourse.”
Pro Tip
The vulva-owner can increase clitoral stimulation by using a vibrator or their hand. You can heat things up by doing this in the bathroom. Use the sink or counter for support and maintain eye contact while looking into the mirror.
How to Do It
The penetrative partner sits on a chair or propped against a wall in bed, while the vulva-owner straddles them. The receiving partner can hold onto the top of the chair or the bed’s headboard to aid in riding the penis or strap-on—gyrating in circles or using their knees to bob up and down.
Why It Works
This version of Woman on Top doesn’t ask for much physical effort from either party but gives the partner on top control and the bottom partner total access to their clitoris and breasts.
Pro Tip
Play around with angles: Lean in close for dirty talk and kissing, or have the vulva-owner lean back a bit to admire their body. “The vulva-owner can also play with edging—where they take the penetrative partner to the edge, then denies them…takes them to the edge, then denies them,” adds Coles. Since you’re face to face, it’s easier to see where you’re at because of body cues and expressions.
How to Do ItThe OG
Face each other with the vulva-owner’s back against a wall. Depending on the height difference, they may need to raise one leg and prop it on something, like a chair, or the penetrative partner can help support with their arm. “Face to face has the potential for really good clitoral stimulation,” says Kerner. “Because the clitoris is going right into the base of the shaft, that’s going to provide a lot of clitoral stimulation.”
Holding Up Against Wall
Another alternative is for the penetrative partner to pick up the receiving partner, holding both legs in the crooks of their arms so the vulva-owner can experience even deeper penetration and increased pressure on the clitoris. Obviously this requires a lot of strength, so it’s not the easiest position to maintain for long.
Standing Rear Entry Against Wall
The third option is to have the vulva-owner face the wall and place their hands against it for support while the the penetrative partner enters from behind. “If the penetrative partner is on the shorter side, the receiving partner can squat lower to make penetration easier,” Richmond says. The vulva-owner can also use one of their hands to stimulate their clitoris.
Why It Works
Wall sex is the ultimate fantasy scenario. “The classic one we see in movies where people have sex in libraries, offices, elevators, or wherever urgency hits has the vulva-owner with their back to the wall and the penetrative partner facing them,” says Richmond. “This will offer deeper penetration and allow some direct pressure onto the clitoris,” describes Richmond.
How to Do It
The vulva-owner gets on all fours, while the penetrative partner kneels behind and enters with their body upright. This position gives the receiving partner some control over the pacing and allows for easy clitoral stimulation with either partner’s hand. The receiving partner can also rock back to meet the thrusts.
Why It Works
It might not seem obvious, but the vulva-owner largely controls “depth and tightness based on their legs being closer together or farther apart” says Coles.
The stimulation a vulva-owner gets in this position depends on a number of factors. It may feel best just prior to ovulation, when they’re likely to be more lubricated due to higher levels of estrogen; and when their cervix may pull up higher inside, making it less likely to be uncomfortably bumped during penetration.
Pro Tip
“Some vulva-owners enjoy doggy style more because of the angling they choose for their body,” explains Coles. If they lean over onto their elbows, penetration will come in at much more of an angle that “may get their G-spot and internal legs of their clitoris stimulated.”
How to Do It
Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction, with the vulva-owner in front. The receiving partner can position their knees up a bit, while the penetrative partner enters from behind. Get into a rhythm, thrusting in and out or gyrate in a circular motion.
Why It Works
“Many of my clients tell me it feels very intimate,” Richmond says. “They’re getting a lot of body contact because their partner is lying so close behind them.” Vulva-owners have control over how deep the penetration is because they can shift their hips forward for less depth or back for more.
Pro Tip
Since both partners’ hands are free, the penetrative partner can touch the vulva-owner’s clitoris, breasts, stomach, hips, legs, and neck for light domination play. The receiving partner can touch their body in ways they know they like.
The vulva-owner should play with squeezing their legs closer together, Coles recommends. That tightness of the vaginal penetration from the legs being closer together makes it easier to hit the G-spot and is a more intense sensation for the penis-owner, too.
How to Do It
This position can be a challenge to explain, clearly, but it’s actually quite simple. The vulva-owner lies on their back while the penetrative partner positions themself perpendicular so they’re down by the receiver’s thighs. The penetrative partner slides one leg under the receiving partner’s butt and drapes the free leg up and over their thigh, then enters from the side. The giver won’t be able to thrust in and out very far, but this allows the vulva-owner to rub their clitoris up against the penetrative partner’s top leg. If the penetrative partner is struggling with leverage, they can shift more onto their side.
Why It Works
It might not seem like it, but the penis-owner can get some good penetration from this angle while the vulva-owner gets plenty of clitoral stimulation.
Pro Tip
Use lube so the friction between the clitoris and leg doesn’t become uncomfortable.
How to Do It
Instead of aligning your bodies, the giver is perpendicular to the receiver’s vulva. This way, their tongue moves across the clitoris, rather than up and down.
Why It Works
“The positioning of the body and mouth while giving oral sex to a vulva-owner can make a surprisingly big difference to pleasure,” says Mike Johnson, sex educator and co-host of YMMV, a sex podcast that delves into the Kivin Method. This motion more closely resembles the way many vulva-owners masturbate with their fingers.
Pro Tip
The giver can simultaneously use their hand to stimulate the receiver’s vulva or slip in a finger or toy.
How to Do It
The penetrative partner lies down on their back while the vulva-owner straddles their thighs, facing away. The receiver can place their hands on the giver’s thighs for support as they thrust back and forth or up and down.
Why It Works
The penetrative partner already loves this position because it offers quite the view—and the minimal effort is sometimes a welcome reprieve. Vulva-owners are fans as well because it allows them to control the speed, depth, and angle of penetration while also making manual stimulation of the clitoris easy for either partner.
Pro Tip
The vulva-owner can explore a vibrator externally while their partner is penetrating them, says Coles.
How to Do It
The penetrative partner sits on the edge of a bed or on a chair with no arms. The vulva-owner sits on their lap and guides penetration. The receiver can press their feet into the floor for leverage and support and hold onto the back of the chair or the bed’s headrest as they grind against their partner. Note: The vulva-owner can also reverse their positioning so they face away from the giver.
Why It Works
By having the vulva-owner sit on the penetrative partner’s lap, they control the depth and speed of penetration, and the amount of bouncing and grinding, shares Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of sex shop Early to Bed. “It also allows access to the clitoris, so they can stimulate it themself or their partner can do it.”
Pro Tip
“Try this across from a mirror for a great show,” Deysach recommends. To spice things up, bind the penetrative partner’s hands together with a tie or the belt from a bath robe to tease them.
Another guaranteed way to get your partner off is to ask them. Vulva-owners understand what excites them most. Maybe it’s physical touch, emotional connection, or they secretly want you to be rougher.
“For some, pleasure comes from looking at each other face-to-face and saying beautiful things while kissing,” says Caust. “And for others, it comes from erotic touching.”
Their feedback will strip down barriers in the bedroom (or other places) and allow for a more pleasurable experience for you both.
While the aforementioned positions may be tried and true for many vulva-owners, being too tried and true can leave things feeling formulaic. If you find you’re consistently running through the same positions in the same order, shake things up. Bring a new toy into the mix, change the time of day you have sex, make foreplay an all-day affair, get it on in a new room, make a weekend getaway that’s all about intimacy. You can even gamify sex. Write positions and fantasies onto a blank deck of cards and follow whichever one you pull.
Why Vulva-Owners Need Clitoral Stimulation
“Research shows majority of women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm,” says Caitlin V. Neal, sex and relationship coach and host of Good Sex on Discovery+.
A 2015 study, published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, provided an internet-based survey to 1,055 women between the ages 18 to 94 from the nationally representative GfK KnowledgePanel. For 18.4 percent of women, intercourse alone was sufficient for orgasm, but 36.6 percent reported clitoral stimulation was necessary in order to orgasm during sex. Furthermore, 36 percent said clitoral stimulation was not necessarily needed, but their orgasms felt better.
Those figures are even larger, according to The Hite Report, which was first published in 1976. The author, Shere Hite, surveyed 100,000 women ages 14 to 78 questions about sexuality to create a nationwide study. She found roughly 26 percent of women experienced vaginal orgasms without clitoral stimulation, but majority of women—to the tune of approximately 70 percent—experienced orgasms exclusively from clitoral stimulation.
Clitoral stimulation can be performed before, during, and even after sex, but during is sometimes the most difficult to master.
Here are 20 expert-backed sex positions that can up a vulva-owner’s odds of having an orgasm.
How to Have Better Sex
In the satisfaction battle of the sexes, vulva-owners often lose out. “Intercourse itself seems to be designed for giving the man pleasure,” says Deborah Caust, clinical sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist.
Take a Holistic Approach
Taking a whole-body approach helps, says Coles, because vulva-owners also appreciate some positions for the connection they feel to you or the confidence they find in themselves. So mix it up. “Studies have shown that the more variety of activities you do within any given sexual experience, the pleasure goes through the roof for everyone involved,” says Coles. She recommends three to five sexual activities—“and I would say at least two different positions if all you’re exploring is penetrative sex.”
That can be sending dirty texts or engaging in phone sex in the hours leading up to physical intimacy, kissing, massage, masturbation, anal play, and/or using sex toys like vibrators and cock rings.
Ensure They Feels Safe and Comfortable
It’s important to remember that a vulva-owner’s pleasure is reliant on feeling comfortable and safe. Though many do have fantasies of rough sex (about 60 percent have “forced seduction fantasies,” according to Holly Richmond, Ph.D., certified sex therapist), the only way the fantasy works is when it’s 100 percent consensual.
Play to Their Fantasies
“The idea of being taken, of having a partner’s undivided attention and feeling their urgency in an intense way, is incredibly hot for many people,” Richmond says. “When a woman feels like they’re so desired that there’s nothing in the world that could keep their partner away from them, the heat gets turned up a notch.”
Engage in Foreplay
Of course, none of these amount to much without foreplay (think oral sex), proper lubrication, and communication. Combine any one of the following sex positions with that trifecta and you’ll be well on your way to having great sex.
Remember, some positions like doggy style and deep penetration can be painful for vulva-owners, so take the necessary steps to make them emotionally and physically comfortable.
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Hi! I’m a dedicated health blogger sharing valuable insights, natural remedies, and the latest scientific breakthroughs to help readers lead healthier lives. With a holistic approach to wellness, I empower individuals with accessible and actionable content, debunking myths and offering practical tips for incorporating healthy habits.